I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
