she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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