he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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