coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
