i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
