A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
