I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
