How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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