I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
