I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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