Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I understand Curling. That high.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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