soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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