grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
