I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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