so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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