I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize