One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
