was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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