ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
