also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
