I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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