Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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