Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize