Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
