Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
NoShamevember. You game?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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