i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
