Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
