apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
