C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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