so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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