we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
