i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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