We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
