from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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