The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
