Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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