I hate all girls vehemently.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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