apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
