My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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