PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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