i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
