i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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