arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize