Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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