the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
