woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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