Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
