Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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