Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Fuck me I smell like cheese
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize