Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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