Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I believe in your delicious
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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