i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
only if we run a train.
done.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
