thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
