shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
