i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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