Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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