The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize