I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
