My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
