erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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