I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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