The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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