My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
