I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
